Wow. a year gone...

I really don't blog anymore.

great trip

Great summer trip. Basically the same trip as 2 summers ago, but instead of dreaming of new guy. He was with me. and his daughter too. Great fun. New family of 5, fab fun on the comel river.

XMAS 2009!!

I'm taking pictures again!



Well, the last month of the decade is going fast!
The whole world goes crazy at you when it's December and you have a couple of kiddos. Just this week: Band recital (Skychild trumpet), piano recital (Flowerchild), school play (Flowerchild is an xmas tree, Yes we made a great costume ), and Sing Noel at church. I'm venting, about all the mommies I know. they don't work. It's sooo hard for me not to play the I'm-busier-than-you game with them. Where are the mommies like me? TOO BUSY to be friends with me! I tell NewGuy, "life just hasn't turned out like I thought it would. I thought I'd have friends with kids and we'd drink and have fun while the kids played in the other room." He looked at me with a big smile and said "you have that with me." True. At that very moment, we were drinking beer in the kitchen, doing dishes, goofing-off, & gossiping while all our kids played (very nosily) in the other room. Wow, it's so strange how your prayers can be answered, without you even knowing it. Take a peek, it might have happened to you.

As you can gather, I'm still with the Lutheran Minnesota boy. We bicycle together (fall century! 100 miles!), but have so many opposites. I won't let him come to my Unitarian church, because his faith is beautiful (just like a little child that believes in Santa) He says 'why shouldn't I go to church with you? what do they say?, "there is no savior! you're all screwed! good luck!" ', In my mind, I'm thinking ~YES, but all us atheists need spiritual nourishment too~. I just chuckle at him and instead say "ya, something like that." (and for the record, I'm a lapsed atheists now. and go to church every Sunday, but that's another story.)

Flowerchild (8.5) and Skychild (almost 12) are huge blessings in my life. Yes, this all seams uncharacteristically religious-speak for me, but I do not think I've spent enough time being thankful for what I have. So, when the mood strikes me, I'm going to spread the word. I am very lucky. Things may not be as I planned them, or wanted them, and there is pain in my kids life that I have cause, I'm scared for my Mom's health, etc… But good things happen every day. The glass is not half full or empty; it's overflowing with good. (Wow, maybe I've had a bit too much coffee??)

Flowerchild asked, "if I only get one xmas present, I want it to be the iTouch., Will you get that for me mommie?" Skychild says, "Flowerchild, it's Santa that brings us the big presents." Hee. Hee. So funny that Skychild is a believer like me! He's in 6th grade for god-sakes, and I'm 39 and still believe in Santa. When Flowerchild asks me, "Are you Santa?" I very firmly say "No, Santa is Santa." and everyone talks about something else. I'm not lying. Santa is the fun spirit of giving surprise gifts, for the sheer joy of seeing it bring joy to someone you love. We don't need to analyze it any more than that.

On the lighter side, I said "damn it!" at a soccer game. Gasp! I thought I'd cleaned up my Sailor talk, sufficiently, but when they just missed that goal, I slipped.
Here's some Wednesdaygirl slang, that I still enjoy freely. Liven up your 2010 and try them out!

ding dong (slang for stupid idiot)
part-tard (short for part retarded)
silly goose (good for just about everything)
little bitty bastard (sailor talk, good for most things that frustrate, just keep the tone light)
well... honey... (what did you think was going to happen?)
use your powers of perception (aka, use your eye balls to look for your shoes!)
i love kids (the kids and I saw this as a bumper sticker and now I say it whenever my kids are naughty,
too loud, too crazy, too anything. I happily say "I love kids", it always gets a good laugh from them.)
sweetie pie (slang for either of my kids names)
sweetheart (slang for NewGuy's name)

Too damn bad that you are so far away. Have a cup of good cheer and think of your Friend in Oklahoma!
Hope to see you soon! Have a great Holiday Season and take care!!

Love,
Wednesdaygirl

Fall Century

Me and S-girl were married to two brothers. For years and years we were sister-in-laws. But her marriage fell apart and then a few years later so did mine. We lost touch, then a chance meeting found each other again! now we bicycle every wednesday night and she's part of the team! (team is used very loosely here.)

Me, S-girl and a new set of brothers set off on the Fall Century ride.
New guy and his brother have been riding all of their lives, it's new for me and s-girl. It's my first century ride. Couldn't have been a better day! Just fabulous sunny fall day.

Wow! now I know the first 80 miles is the first half and the last 20 miles just about kills you. We made it in 6 hours flat! very good time. But there were no that many hills or wind to slow us down.

I break out the beer and want to celebrate. But new-guys brother was running scared! I think he has a crush on s-girl. after riding a 100 miles with someone either you hate them or have a crush on them. I think it's cute. but he's in that I've-been-married-for-most-of-my-life-I'm-sick-of-it thing going on. So, I guess it's good to be careful. and S-girl has her own drama. she's dating a her x-husbands friend who is still married, but working on a long over-due divorce.

When you get to be this age everyone has such baggage.

Here's a pic from the dam j a m ride.

Last weekend of Summer

What a great summer it's been.!
So sad to see it go. But Fall is going to be a blast. I'm signed up for two bicycle tours. Wish I had more time to write. My business has been off-the-charts busy. July was my biggest month of the 11 years, I've been in biz.
I'm fixing my house up. The kitchen is really looking good. Travertine on the floor, granite counter tops, white tiny-subway tiles for the back splash. and I just love the new faucet. Pictures soon!

I gave up on New Guy helping me. He works too much. We spend all of our free time together (which is not much) having tons of fun! So who can complain. We ride about 50-100 miles a week. Our triathalon is Bicycle, Beer & Sex. There's just nothing better than a 40 mile ride, beer party in the park and then off to bed.

Love,
Wednesdaygirl

Happy Earth Day

Here in t town, the Earth is really showing off her stuff! It's about the most beautiful spring morning I've ever seen. and it's the first day of shorts! the sky child told me, "Mom, you've made a mistake these are shorts." (Yes, I still set out his clothing each morning.) "No, not a mistake. Today is going to be shorts weather!" Such a damn good feeling. All the trees have little spring green leaves that will soon be big and dark green. Even my pecan trees have stared thinking about growing leaves (they are always the last to put on leaves.)

The update. My brother bought the house next door! and moved in last week. During the move, my mom had a stroke. Horrible, horrible, horrible, mess. No she was not lifting a dresser or anything. She was at home babysitting the little 1 year old. which was also horible. okay. I'm going to skip over all that. She is zapped and doesn't seam to have any pep. but we are hoping for a full recovery. I just keep thinking how much worse it could have been. scary, scary stuff.

It was a really rough 5 days. spending the night at the hospital and being at her side non-stop for 3 days. I pray that she's stabilized. one) because I love her and I need my mom! two) I'm still rasing my kids and I'm also dating. having a mom in-tow is not going to be easy. New-guy said that we would just sell it all and move to a goat farm where he would build a little house on the side for my mom. sweet.

The boy friend update. We not making any progress on getting our families acquainted.
For easter, He couldn't get off work to come to my Mom's easter gathering and on Easter day my kids were with theRock. So that weekend was a wash. Then this very last weekend, I'm taking care of my mom. so that weekend was a wash. We will try again next weekend? It's so hard because I really don't want to spend family time with new Guy. I like being selfish with my kids focusing on them when I have them and then I like being selfish with new-guy, focusing totaly on him when I don't have my kids. But there's another child involved. his little girl. and this is so not cool for her. I think she's really lonely. I would be cool to skip ahead to a place where the families are all blended and everyone is okay.
I know this is a typical case of wednesdaygirl making everything harder than it needs to be. The times we've had our families together, the skychild does great! and he's the one I'm so worried about. the flowerchild love's his little girl.

between me and the new-guy we have an 8 bedroom, 6 bathroom, 5 car garage house! That's too much house. We'd love to live together, but it gets messy fast. the kids are not even in the same school district.

Spring weight loss:
I weighed in last night (at the YMCA where sky child practices his soccer). I lost another pound. If by seriously-reduced-portion-sizes, no anything good (meaning bread-pasta-rice), I can manage to loose a pound a week. I will stick with it for 7 more weeks. This is only week 3 of 10. Uuuuug. I've never done this before. I've never *had* to do this before. It's really hard. I can understand why people just live over weight. I'm at 119 and need to be at 112. I cannot believe 112 is my new ideal wieght!

Jeeze. I remember the days when 112 would have been like, holy crap! I'm over weight! Now, I'm thinking it's ideal! (Okay, people. you must understand I'm only 5'2".)

Today, I'm going on the 30 mile kill-you-with-hills ride. That should be fun (when it's over and I have a cold beer in my hand.) Plus, before the ride I can eat REAL carbs! good stuff. Damn. I'm really nervous about the ride. There's about 200 trim bicycling maniacs there. New-guys knows a lot of those people. I'm riding on the tandem with him. So, I know I'll make it. but honestly I'd rather be on my own bike. If I cannot pull my own weight I don't want anyone else pulling it either. especially not new guy.

This made me really happy. Listen to this. The first and only time I've done the wednesday night ride (30 miles with hills) it took us 1.5 hours. then last week, when I was sick, new-guy rode single. It took him 2 hours and he was pissed. He said that he had no idea how much I was doing back there. So maybe I am doing a little better than I though. and on our ski trip, I was ready to go on our 3 day of skiing and he was like zapped. 2 days is enough, his shins could not handle the ski boots another day, so we snow boarded. was that ever a hoot!

hi

well, I guess my blog started because of e and ended because of e. I just don't seam to need blogging anymore. something about e ignited a neurosis in me. some may call it passion, but I think it's more neurosis. I can be passionate with out being crazy. I had neurosis love in College, learned my lesson and then had to learn it again in mid-life. what a mess. I started my blog in July 2005 when e broke my heart the first time. Look how many years it has taken to get it out and now it just seams foolish. my brain has repaired itself and I don't really understand it all. I am not that person today. I remember the constant blog that was running in my head, even when I didn't have time to get to a computer. Ooooh. how nice it is to have that gone. Oh. I guess I do miss this a bit.

Anyway, My divorce to the rock was final the day before xmas eve. heck of a time for such a thing. I've lived in my house for a year now, so I kept telling myself it's just paperwork wednesdaygirl. just paper work. you haven't been married for a long time. but even walking into the damn court house I'm "what if theRock wanted me? what if it was enough?" I said yes to the judge about 25 times (different questions) and that was it. I was divorced. again. 3 years the first time. 15 years the second time.

I'm happy about the no child support agreement that was worked out. I cannot take money from anyone. I couldn't take it from the Rock. But just 2 days before the divorce I found out it was *me* that would have had to pay child support. It's just because of R18, but it made me feel very happy. The Rock should kiss his lucky stars. So many guys really get ripped off. money wise. And not to worry about the child support stuff. It was just a tiny dollar amount. I'm not being cheep where my kids are concerned. I put 3 times that in College fund for them each month. which is NOT considered in the child support calculation. Not sure why... It should be.
Okay. you can see that I distract myself where the divorce is concerned. I hate to feel that I failed the rock. He would have loved me to be a real stay at home mom that doted on him and depended on his money. but it just didn't work out that way.

And with it really being final. I feel closure. that I didn't even realize I needed. I have stopped the "what if" and feel some much needed relief. He was not the man for me. and it is done. The world can look down on me. I don't give a fig about that., but I will never get any peace from letting my kids down. I will just have to live with that.

Sunday at lunch I tried to tell them the divorce was final, but I chickened out. I did get it out at the dinner table. they were very polite. "yes, we know. there was a waiting period." then I told them about internet dating and that I like someone. The sky child was very positive. "oh. okay. sounds good." and then we moved on to other topics. the flower child did ask "mommie, are you going to get married again?" I told her that when you're young that all seams very straight forward, but at my age, I have kids and those are the most important thing in my life right now. so it's hard to say about anything else. She was good with this. but I'm telling you. I remember when *my mom* got divorced, (I was 30 years old!) and I completely expected she would be a single old lady who would dote on her kids (me!). It was a very rude shock when I, pregnant wednesdaygirl, was dumbed for a boyfriend! eeeak!

Back to my divorce. The blending families idea really seams scary and I want to put it off. Baby steps will be fine.